Low Fat? Fuck off!

I'm rather annoyed at the moment. You'd think of course that it being nearly half two in the morning would see me in a calm mood. Instead, i've just finished putting a load of yoghurt pots in the bin, and that has inspired me to write this.

It's not so much the clearing away of the yoghurt pots, its that whilst doing so i noticed the 'low fat' label on the side of them. Now i've never been a fan of anything low-fat, i don't believe in all the hype surrounding it, and in many instances, low-fat foodstuffs taste like crap.

Take mayonnaise for example. If you look in a jar of regular, hellmans mayonnaise, its eggshell white in colour, thick but spreadable and tastes like mayonnaise should. However, if you go for the low-fat shit, you end up forking out something that looks like it's just been collected from Ron Jeremy's underpants and tastes absolutely vile - nothing like the mayonnaise it purports to be on the jar.

Thing is, the trend of making everything low fat is rapidly spreading across the supermarket shelves. I can't buy a large tub of strawberry yoghurt without it being low fat (i've tried, it - it's fucking horrendous). I'm forever picking up cheese and putting it in the trolley, and then realising almost too late that it's low fat. For fucks sake! Cheese is fatty - removing said fat and replacing it with something inert makes it taste horrible! Whats next? Low fat butter?!

Unfortunately, people buy into the hype surrounding it. And it's destroying peoples culinary taste. You dont *need* low-fat at all. If you're that bothered about your weight or what you eat - all you need to do, is watch your intake of food, don't overeat and do some fucking exercise. None of this low-fat bollocks went on in the 50's and 60's - people were still healthy though, weren't they?

Now, i'm not overly bothered about my fat intake - if i want to eat something that contains fat, goddamn it i'm going to eat it!

I want to cruise the supermarket aisles and find them bereft of anything low-fat. Just standard, fat containing food. I WANT MY FAT BACK!

Come on, who's with me!?

*charges off in the direction of Sainsburys wielding a SPAS-12 and a raincoat*