Losing weight, or is it merely an optical illusion?

think that hitting 25 years of age is beginning to mean something, physically at least.

In the last few days, i've been told by people that i seem to have lost weight. I dont keep track of my weight really, never been all that bothered. I can walk places, i dont wheeze when i walk and i'm generally happy being me.

This afternoon, I had lunch with the squeezably huggable Jennie, and she said that i've lost weight - and a fair amount of it since the last time she saw me a few weeks back, shortly after my birthday.

When i got back from lunch and looking round flats with her, i had a good long look in the mirror and it does seem that i have indeed lost a bit of weight. Not much, a few pounds maybe, but it's all good i guess.

I think one of the reasons for this is i can't eat anywhere near as much stuff as i once could. These days i'm fazed by a chicken caesar salad in a wetherspoons, or the pie i had last night down the fox. I simply cannoy manage large portions anymore. In days of old, i'd be at the burger van outside the Halfords in Enfield and be able to inhale a half pounder with cheese and onions, and still have room for another, or something else. Not so anymore. I had one of those very same burgers on sunday and i struggled to get even halfway through before feeling very full and very bloated.

It's a good thing i guess, it's just surprising how quickly onset it's become. I dont think i've changed my diet much over the last year, although i eat much more in the way of homous and pita bread than i used to, slightly more veg and less red meat (barring the joy of Steak day!).

Not having the use of the Supra has probably been a contributing factor. Before, i'd have driven everywhere, but now, i walk to southgate and palmers green without much thought. Previously, i'd have been in a cold sweat at the idea of not hooning down the road on full boost at 100+mph to get to the sainsburys deli counter before the bbq chicken wings were finished....

Aside from the physical changes, there have been mental changes afoot as well. At least i think there have been.

Has all this been caused just by turning 25, or is it that my outlook on life has been so drastically changed by one chance encounter that i'm willing to entertain idea's that i would have found unsavoury in the past?

Well, i'm still trying to figure that one out, but i'm glad it's happened. Things can only get better from here on out....

Judgement

I'm seriously fed up of women judging me by the way i look. Okay, its no secret i'm hardly worthy of being placed on the front cover of GQ magazine, thing is, i am the way i am, i'm not going to change appearance just to fit into the 'accepted norm'. I've been large ever since i was 9, i'm happy as i am.

I have a nice personality, i'm kind, generous and affectionate, yet women taking one look at me and think how horribly different i am from the 'body beautiful' figure that's been drilled into their skulls - and being different has become synonymous with BAD.

It's not bad at all - we're not all clones of each other, we're individuals, we come in ALL SHAPES AND SIZES.

Stop being so fucking perfectionist and searching for something unobtainable - be more realistic in your goals.

I don't go and woo or bother messaging 'super hot' chicks, simply because they'd never be seen with the likes of me (despite the occasional protest to the contrary - come on love, who are you trying to fool?), and cause i have no realistic chance of even saying 'hi' over coffee. Not to say i only woo 'mingers', far from it.

Let me tell you something ladies - you can be attractive without having to be thin. There was a time when voluptuous women were considered preferable to stick figure women - oh how times have changed!

So come on girls - be more realistic in your aspirations and come ask for a cuddle, i'll be more than happy to oblige. Then you get a slice of cake. Aaah sweet bribery...