Thursday, 1 February 2007

My mind is...

...blank. For once, i dont actually have anything to think about. Sheer nothingness fills my head. Well, it DID before i started writing this. More than likely it'll go back to being blank after writing this. Apathy seems to have set in, and in a big way.

About 2 hours or so ago, while i was putting up posters and pictures, i suddenly realised....i actually couldnt give a toss one way or the other whether i have them or not. I might take them all back down again tomorrow - i dunno, I'm just in a funny mood at the moment. Pissed off at everything, yet nothing at the same time. Little things are getting to me like the unpaid and outstanding bills, the fact that i'm not getting paid for two more fucking weeks and the tedious pace of life in the flat.

It's not a bad flat, its cosy, but its starting to wear on me, the whole living here gig. I feel like every little action of mine is being judged, the way i live my life etc. It's perfectly standard paranoia of course, but all the same, I want to get out and go away somewhere for a few weeks, maybe in a fortnight or two when i get paid, i'll go on a weeks break somewhere. Anywhere.

I'm bored of the same surroundings, bored of the same job, bored of being single, the list goes on. Life is dull at the moment. I can see why people become alcoholics when they're stuck in the same position as i'm in.

I'd contemplate getting pissed right now, only i have work in the morning and not turning up due to a hangover wouldnt go down well.

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